Caritas News and Happenings

Two blog posts in one day – can you tell we’ve got a lot to catch everyone up on?

Last year's telethon at CHIN

Every Sunday CHIN TV produces “Festival Italiano Di Johnny Lombardi” that airs on CITY TV Toronto. We have just received word from CHIN TV that they are giving us their entire 2.5 hours of air time for a special telethon segment on Sunday April 25!

We have to say a huge thank you to Lenny Lombardi, president of CHIN, and Ali Bidabadi, Producer of Festival Italiano who made this possible. Through their generosity, CHIN has joined a growing list of sponsors for this years Telethon and we are thrilled to count them among our friends.

Michael Tibollo, Lenny Lombardi and Ramin Deravian "Thumbs up for Caritas"

Good morning! 

First off I would just like to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone for their support over the last few weeks.  It was certainly a trying time but the community rallied around us and we couldn’t be more grateful.  At every step of the way there were offers of help from both long time friends and complete strangers.  It was a wonderful reminder of how lucky Caritas is to have such a strong support system. 

The last few weeks have been difficult to say the least, but it’s time to move on from that and start focusing on the future.   It’s so good to be back (especially now that we have Internet access up and running at our temporary office space) and even better to be back on track getting ready for our biggest fundraiser of the year.  The 16th Annual Telethon is just around the corner and we couldn’t be more excited. 

Behind the scenes at TLN

We have just gotten confirmation of the telethon air dates.  

Our 30 minute specials will air on TLN as follows:

Tuesday, March 30th @ 9:30 pm
Sunday, April 4th @ 6:00 pm
Tuesday, April 6th @ 9:30 pm
Sunday, April 11th @ 6:00 pm
Tuesday, April 13th @ 9:30 pm
Sunday, April 18th @ 6:00 pm
Tuesday, April 20th @ 9:30 pm

Grand Finale – Sunday, April 25th 6pm

Special Segment on CHIN TV’s “Festival Italiano Di Johnny Lombardi” – Sunday, April 25 @ 11:30am

For more information on how you can support us, please click here.

A mirror serves a greater purpose than to simply show the outward reflection of an individual in the present. In fact, as a person grows and matures, it becomes a portal that reflects one’s thoughts, one’s life. Looking into the mirror you see your life, both your past and your future. You can believe the reflection is your outside appearance but in reality, it is a deeper reflection of who you really are.

As a result, the mirror, in many ways, is more of a window than a reflecting device. All of us have dreams. Our dreams are not always shared with others but they are played, over and over again in our minds. Dreams can be pleasant, an emotional recharging of the spirit or they can be a nightmare that torment and plague the individual.

Do drug addicts dream? What do they see playing in their minds? Are the dreams reinforcing their spirit, their will to live, to grow, to change or are they haunting and depressing?

I have been told that people that use drugs use them to numb emotions. They are used to create a refuge or escape from emotional pain and trauma that scarred the user at some point in life. If so, the addict can never see beyond the reflection of himself and as such can never grow spiritually until the problem is somehow resolved.

How do we change that? The process is difficult but it can be done. A therapeutic community model attempts to change the individual through patience and hard work. It forces an individual over time to learn about himself, his strengths and weaknesses. It shows him that he has value and that he is more than a simple reflection in the mirror.

Once the numbness is gone, the emotional healing can begin and he learns the tools to make him strong and get back to building his dream. Through meditation, group therapy, reading and sharing one’s thoughts, the individual starts to feel a part of the community and that he is not alone. The therapeutic community becomes a safe refuge where the individual is protected from the outside world and its influences and distractions. It allows the individual to rediscover who he is, that he is loved and that his life is worth living. The reflection he once saw in the mirror of himself starts to transform to a window that reflects beyond himself to the family and community at large. The transformation continues with the reintroduction of the outside world. In many ways, mental health is the key to ensuring an individual doesn’t one day return to becoming a user. In a therapeutic community, the counselors work hard and challenge the individuals in the program to make sure that the lessons they learn each day reinforce them and make them emotionally stronger.

If the mirror is really a window, then the reflection we see in the mirror is not of ourselves but really of a reflection of who we are and how we relate to others in the world. It does not simply reflect our outward appearance but truly reflects our character, our strengths and our weakness. It should be used not only to comb one’s hair and or put on makeup. It should be used to see beyond its four corners as to how we reflect in the community through our thoughts and actions. An addict can change his reflection. Can we?

Michael Tibollo
March 7, 2010

If you have lived life on life’s terms, you know what we are talking about.  No one has more eloquently stated this that Albert Camus:

In the depths of winter,
I finally realized
that deep within me
there lay
an Invincible Summer.

In us humans, there is a capacity to make meaning out of our struggles. One of the most inspiring writers of hope, Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who spent years in a Nazi concentration camp, observed that those who survived had one thing in common. They created a reason for surviving. Those who had no reason for surviving generally did not make it. He concluded that the strongest influence on our emotional health in a time of crisis is our capacity to create a reason, a meaning, for going on. Life’s adversities and despair itself can miraculously ignite us to see through all darkness, that distant light, the hopeful message of life, or the Invincible Summer.

If anyone ever doubted that adversity builds strength, this was the perfect week to learn that it is the greatest of all teachers.

At Caritas, the “School of Life”, we hear stories from the residents of the problems they confronted in their lives prior to joining us.  Through these stories, we try to capture their experiences and learn from them, thereby extracting “Lessons in Life” that we can then share with others.  We hope that in doing so, we can educate and prevent a repeat of the same mistakes by others.  The lesson learned this week was an eye opener to me in that it taught me a lesson that I will never forget.

I have always believed that people are fundamentally good and that they will help others especially if it costs them nothing but a little patience and compassion.  Unfortunately, I was wrong.  There are those that lack compassion and for whatever reason carry hatred and contempt for others regardless of the repercussions of their ill-conceived actions.

The question I ask myself now is “What went wrong this week that we found ourselves locked out?”

I have reflected on this issue now for a week and have concluded an important lesson that I would like to share.

Caritas was located at 15 Millwick Drive in Toronto for the last 15 years.  Prior to us moving there, it was a building in need of some work and over the years, through government funding, through volunteers and the residents, the building became a home to many.  I often heard it said, “How many lives have been saved in this place”.  “We came here to learn, to receive guidance, support”.

When the Landlord changed the locks at the building, there were many emotions expressed by the parents, the founder, the staff, the Boards, the residents and the community.  Anger, shock, bitterness, disgust, and contempt were all felt, expressed and shared.  One emotion however that we also shared was the sense of peace and indomitable spirit.  I realized this at the dinner on February 27, 2010.  I realized that night that 15 Millwick is just a building.  It has no life without us.  It is simply a shell of bricks, blocks and mortar that like everything built by man will eventually return to the state from which it came, dust.

Where then is the Caritas building?  Caritas is in our hearts.  The house we built is not at 15 Millwick and it is not made out of bricks, blocks and mortar.  It is the community spirit we carry with us, the love and compassion we have for our residents and the work that our staff does to save lives.  Caritas is housed in our hearts and no matter what anyone does to us, it will always have a home and live in our hearts.  Buildings will come and they will go.  The one thing that will always continue is the good work and lessons that were learned in and through Caritas.  Wherever we choose to hang our new sign will be just another shell. It will be the people that work their, the parents who attend meetings there, the residents that meet there that will make the next “shell” a home for us.

Immorality, ambition, selfishness will always be around us.  Our energy must be dedicated to the moral high road.  Here lies the lesson.  The “building” we have to secure and cultivate is not the one made of bricks and mortar but rather the “life’ we live and how we live it.  This home is not made out of bricks and mortar but rather love, charity, selflessness, hope and compassion.  These building blocks are the ones that we own and will always have to use to build a home for us and the work we do.

In the end, the fact that there will always be people that don’t care about anything but their personal gain is no reason to despair.  It is the cold reality of a world that is not always ethical, one that places the priority of wealth over human values. 

This experience has opened the eyes of many.  While we have lost a shell, we have found where the true home of Caritas resides, our hearts.  We will one day replace the shell and Caritas will live on as long as we keep it alive in our hearts.

Michael Tibollo
February 28, 2010

Being the founder of this organization I feel I can say a word on this unfortunate event, a word that I would love to be considered final. I’d love to invite everyone, friends and would-be enemies to put a closure on this sad ordeal and to try to move on in our service within the universe of those who suffer the consequences of our human dust. I will do it in point form and hopefully in a clear, sincere way:

1. It was not a pleasurable landing in Toronto on Friday (February  19th) and you understand why. I apologize if I did not meet first with the residents but the sequence of events and circumstances made it difficult.  I was taken by painful surprise myself. Last night (Saturday February 27, 2010) I had a dinner with them, including the staff and members of the family association (Fr. Nardone of St. Jane Frances gave us the Church hall as a venue and Il Presidente Banquet Hall with Tony Manco, Peter Palladini and Pat Pietrantonio provided and arranged for the food). It was a moment of healing and grace. Difficult times can be transformed into life experiences.
2. Beyond the heat –better to say: the cold and freeze- of the moment I had a chat with all the parties involved in this “incident”, and I listened trying to understand. I have no suggestions to make on how to proceed. We have a competent Board  for such decisions if any.
3. I met with the members of the Family Association to assure them that residents in the Program were okay. This had been the first concern of our Staff, all the members of the Board, volunteers and friends. Permit me to say that I feel emotional in thinking about this. I truly thank them from the bottom of my heart. Thanks.
4. Thursday night at 11:00pm I had a meeting with the chair of the Board, Mr. Tibollo, the Executive Director Mr. Sergnese and a friend, Mr. De Luca. I wanted to understand what I can do to help and what we can do, as Caritas, to move on without getting stuck in quarrels and interviews. Those who understand what we do will understand and those who don’t, will not anyhow.
5. What I want to do now, if I can and with the help of the Board, the Staff, the Family Association and the more than many friends, is to reassure the Community that we are honest and we try to be correct. 
6. And, if I may without being misinterpreted, I’d love to see the day when business is not only a business. I refuse to accept the fact that I overheard in a phone conversation: “there is no morals or ethics in business.” I spiritually refuse to accept this.
7. I strongly believe and I voiced it to whom it may concern that what happened should NOT have happened. We are not dealing with a building, we are dealing with people. But it did happen! Therefore now we have to learn how to become better people (myself and all of us included!), and which lesson we can learn for the future we want to build together without abandoning those who find it difficult to walk in life. This is our mandate and hopefully our work.
8. I have met with the landowner and I would love to believe that we have both tried to understand better what happened and perhaps even why.  I also expressed to him that his decision in my opinion was not correct. Now we at Caritas have to move on. Hopefully what has happened in the recent past will never happen again. 
9. Our mission, mandate and certainly our intention is not to be against people but to work towards the betterment of our world. To continue being angry and hostile against people is like keeping polluted the waters we desire to clean.
10. Even though God has nothing to do with these problems created by human fragility -hence I ask everyone to avoid talking about Him, the Commandments, Church and so on…-, I cannot help but reflect on issues through the eyes of Faith. I believe that we have to look inside our spirit and to make an effort to become better Citizens and better Christians through and because of these events during our journey.
11. I cannot tell people what to do, but again if I may, I’d love to suggest that we stop talking about what happened and instead focus on what we have to do to improve our service as educators of the community.
12. In closing: I have been asked to return for a while to Toronto and to help during this process of healing and refocusing of our work-service. If permitted to do so I will postpone a few commitments I have taken in Europe and will spend a few months here. My focus will be the program, the residents and the families. I am sure that the Foundation Board (responsible for fund raising and special projects including educational programs through media) will support us as they have for a long while now. 

I thank you

Fr. Gianni Carparelli, gcarparelli@hotmail.com

What happened to the notion that one can do well, by doing good? We often have to teach our residents this basic lesson: In a society that equates earning power and money with status and prestige; in a society that ranks corporate citizenship with phoniness, it may, sometimes, “seem” unfair that women and men who are engaged in the type of work that nurtures the mind and the spirit are looked upon with disdain. We tell them that it is not the wrapping but the inside, not the business but the people behind it.  The business community can do well and some have also done so by doing good. We appreciate those who support us, because every time that you do good, you make an example, a reminder that true philanthropy, that true charity receives no recognition.

Mark Zanette pays a visit

Our Landlord came by today to make a decision on whether we could take our kitchen stove, sink, fridge, and freezer (that we paid for) with us. They arrived in a Hummer, leather jackets, one man with sun glasses! Marching through the building  amidst the residents, and left soon after denying our request to take away our own property.

Pizza Nova pays a visit

At the same time, Pizza Nova has been graciously donating pizzas to our residents during this crisis. Thank you Pizza Nova! For your generousity and your support. Our guys love your pizza!

Caritas kitchen sink

The Bailiff told us later on today that the Landlord was not allowing us to take our kitchen appliances. Caritas built an entire industrial kitchen complete with sinks, walk-in fridge, freezer, and an industrial stove, to teach its residents skills, not necessarily just cooking, but also social, emotional, and organizational skills. Our kitchen was a daily hub for resident interaction and work therapy. Legalities are forcing us to leave them behind, even though we offered professional removal of the appliances. Our dispute will continue… please check back soon.

The Catholic Register interviews the Landlord

You can read the full article here:

http://www.catholicregister.org/content/view/3913/849/

Lo Specchio

You can read the full article here:

http://www.lospecchio.com/giornale/DallaPrima2007/2010/26Feb10/CaritasCacciataDiCasa.htm

Father Gianni Carparelli

Father Gianni Carparelli, the founder of the program is the man who took the first phone call back in 1980 from a desperate mother “Maria.” (a special group room in her name resides in the Centre). Father has been away on a special assignment in London, England since last year. He is in Toronto for a week. We received the following from him and we are going to share his letter with you. The full text follows:

Caritas Homeless?

Locked out or Locked IN?

I believe I have some right to say something, simply because I was the one who 15 years ago along with the late Dario D’Angela signed the contract to rent the Centre on Millwick Drive. I have always been under the impression that I deal with intelligent, humane and honest people. And yet, we have been evicted, and I will tell you why, with facts.

This is why I was shocked, simply shocked when I received the news that the Centre had been locked, impeding staff to enter and to work as we did honestly for 15 years.  Shocked I am but open to understand not only the details of the law, but also the details of correctness, honesty and ethics. Do not laugh: yes! Ethics! The values we should teach our children instead of blaming the world for the problems we see emerging everywhere.

How can it happen that so many people, otherwise rich in possessions, are so blind? The blind leading the future blind: their families and children, their friends and partners…

We have been there at Millwick for 15 years. For 15 years we paid regularly without a day of delay, a rent which is now up to $10,000 a month. We always took care of utilities, minor and major repairs, upkeep of the property… have you ever visited the Centre? Please do it… Well, you cannot now! We replaced toilets, repainted, tiled everything… and with the help of staff, parents and residents (as this is the way to learn responsibilities, not giving everything on a silver plate). We provided the Centre with a new corner bar, new windows, an industrial kitchen with refrigerators and coolers. It was an huge, empty, dirty place (except for a half decent foyer) and we turned it into a home for people recovering from problems. We also fixed the roof at twice at our cost, and I don’t remember how many other things. A new façade was made two years ago with the financial support of the Ministry.

What was worth,  if I recall correctly, about $700,000  15 years ago is now worth in the market up to  $1,300.000,00, and not for us, but for the group who owns it.

And their concern? Four years ago they decided to pave the outside. A decision that was certainly good for us even though we did not need all that work; much less would have been equally great for our needs. But nonetheless, it was good for the centre. Again if that work increased the market value of the property it was for the landowner. Now,  the landowner  wants us to pay $57,000 for the paving work, and that is the disagreement; the  issue that they were discussing with our lawyers.

On the morning of Friday the 19th of February we found the Centre locked. Locked without any consideration for what we do and have inside: sensitive records of residents, perishable food for the houses we have for the residents, medications for those who need them.

Have we stolen something or we are missing something? Are we against the law or is their law an abuse?

My question: why have they locked the door and without any consideration, after years that we have proven to be honest? Why? Why have they locked us out? Only because of a dispute over a $57,000 invoice for a property, theirs, that is worth of a million and a half?

No, I don’t think so!

They have locked us out simply because they are locked in. They are locked IN their greed masked by their definition of justice. They have not locked outside our work from which even friends of theirs have benefited. They have locked outside their dignity and the values they should teach with example to their children. We don’t have to invent any hell. Behavior like this is enough of a hell, but for them, not for me. If the world of the future will be a difficult one for their children they should blame themselves and their empty houses that will never be homes.

But I believe that people can change.
 
Should the law, their law, obliges us to pay, we will have to pay, but we will not be poorer. They are already poor, because we don’t live on bread alone. If they understand what I wanted to say, they are already changing! This is what I hope.

To my people at Caritas: no matter what will happen, you have already made your contribution to make of this world a better one. If you can continue fine. If you cannot, fine.